WaMu, Ah-choo!

Strangers sure must love expelling their bodily waste onto me because I've gone from being farted on to being snotted on. Twice.

I had a "minor" transaction that I had to conduct at my local WaMu bank, which sent me to the all important desk, and not one of their teller booths. Behind the desk sat an older Asian lady who was quick to assess what needed to be done. "I'll need to see your photo i.d., Mr. Kwan", she said as she tapped away on her keyboard, cycling through a digital stream of numbers, figures, and more numbers. "Sure", I replied as I wiggled my i.d. out from its rectangular home in my wallet and slid it across the desktop. She extended her left hand and took hold of it while her right commanded the mouse. Before I realized it, she was raising my i.d. to her facial region as her mouth abruptly dropped open, and out came an alarming...

"AHHH-CHOOOOO". My i.d. was now at the mercy of a barrage of her ballistic boogers as I sat there absolutely stunned. I thought to myself, "HOLY HELL, WOMAN! why did you not use your free hand to cover your mouth instead of my i.d.!?!?". She sat there unabashed and unapologetic for her unwarranted act of germ sharing, and continued to scroll through windows, right clicking every so often. "Now can I see your debit card, Mr. Kwan?", she asked as she returned my now mucous coated i.d., which I left on the table as I reluctantly handed her my debit card. Sure enough, as she took possession of my debit card, it went directly across her mouth as another roaring sneeze bellowed from her lungs.

What's that saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, snot on me for the second time?" Yes, that's got to be it. I'm no hypochondriac but WaMu really should consider placing a rack of hazmat suits next to their deposit slip table, or at least some antibacterial hand gel.

Keep the hype alive,

Jason K.

Apparently I'm A Ninja

You see, I'm the type of lunch-goer that prefers to keep things quick and painless; the roadrunner of the office bunch that makes attempts to avoid the socially appropriate yet awkward exchanges of "hellos" and "see ya back at the office _______", while bumping into a colleague outside of work. It's as if I've fully adopted the Carl's Jr. motto of, "Don't bother me, I'm eating", while out fetching my nourishment. It's an anti-social trait I've picked up so deal with it.

So there I was, with my Baja Fresh chicken quesadilla in hand and long strides in my walk, I swiftly made my return trip to the office just several hundred feet away. I made it a point to walk alongside of the building since that's where the solo diners usually get pushed aside to anyways as the larger crowds make their way down the cramped walkway. The lunch gods were being nice and casted an empty sidewalk for me to walk on that day. As I approached the entranceway to my office building, I noticed a lonesome smoker taking long drags from his cig as his gaze was fixated on the street before him. His rear was towards me but I already could tell it was not anyone familiar, which had me elicit a relieving thought bubble that read, "phew, don't have to say hi". Even though I had no relations to him, I wanted to maintain my stealthiness as I crept by his backside to enter the building.

But as if an arrow were hitting it's intended mark, he let out a monstrous fart just as I passed him. It rung out much like a baritone playing some scale in the lower octaves, "BHURRRRRRR". Apparently, I was so ninja-like in my approach, he did not hear nor see me and thought the coast was clear to rip one (or maybe he was being a total motherfucker and wanted to insult my presence with his fumes). I was utterly flabbergasted, and he was well, sort of "flabby" and "gassed" I suppose, haha.

Keep the hype alive,

Jason K.

Blog Roll Call

Intermission is over so be prepared to graze on my words once again starting tomorrow. Be excited, wet your pants, do whatever the hell you want to show jubilation.

Keep the hype alive,

Jason K.

Hi...Again

To the new readers out there, welcome. To the old stalkers ones, make room for the noobs because I just did something to attract a larger crowd. And I'm hooked.

Keep the hype alive,

Jason K.

Asphyxiated

I'm drowning in a collection of unfinished entries that are patiently waiting in my queue for public exposure. Seven entries to be exact. Writing in segments is my style but never have I left so much incompleteness on my blogging plate. I always get so gung ho about writing entires for BTYB and midway through, I begin fumbling my words and thoughts, and I just flat out stop shortly after. As a matter of fact, I'm surprised I haven't given u